THE QUEEN OF QUIRK

freedom

aaaahhhh....feels so good to have gotten that out! and my CT has been really receptive to the things i wanna say and do...i am really lucky to have them!  thank you to everyone (here and behind the scenes) who said things to encourage me and support the unleashing of the real jan! LOL!  some of my friends have really shown me the light...that i AM different in real life and online..but that's that is ALSO ok. there is nothing wrong with having my guard up while still being real. love that!!

ok, so friday we had our friend tika over for a visit. she is one of colin's colleagues. she's from albania and is the sweetest thing. she always comes bearing gifts and tons of candy and she is forever rolling around on the floor and playing barbies. she's really sweet and everytime she is around we always want to hang out with her again ..and soon. so she invited us to dinner at her new apartment sunday evening and we gladly accepted. she said 'we'll just have some burgers and fries'. whatever! the woman laid out this HUGE spread. we stuffed ourselves silly! and she seems so much happier in her new palce..away from her psycho landlord. it's good for her and she just exudes happiness these days. so, anyway, we spent a good chunk of our weekend with her and the girls just loved it.

on saturday, we had a hankerin' for some shopping, so we headed to downtown frankfurt to spend the day. a lot of our friends here have their fave cities in germany...wiesbaden, garmisch...munich, etc. but ours is frankfurt....hands down. i LOVE shopping there! so we got there around noon and had some pizza and then went to the zeilgalerie to do some shopping. there is a game store there and lush is also there.....LOVE this store. normally i am very sensitive to smell...perfume in an enclosed area will totally make me wanna puke. but after just a couple of minutes in here, i was ok. the first burst of fragrance was really overwhelming and made me lightheaded, but i was ok after that. i picked up some stuff for laura and mandy...but i got a couple of treats for myself. i am ALL ABOUT good smelling stuff...but i can't just use anything. it has to be perfect for me. so i found 2 that i just adore...i will definitely be going back for more!
first up: happy soap...a wonderfully citrus and fresh smell....i've been using it in the shower and it is awesome! the smell is delish and i love the way my skin feels afterwards! i also used it on norah in her bath...and this is totally replacing her usual baby lavender bath stuff. i LOVE the way she smells.... clean and orange...i just wanna eat her up! we will probably go get another fun fragrance for lara and mia to use...they had so much fun in there smelling everything, so i know they'd have a blast picking out their own soap!

and the second one i got is 'ooh la la'. it has wonderfully REAL lavender smell...and i LOVE the color! (kim, you'd love this one!) ah, it's just yummy. and my whole bathroom cabinet smells like rich real lavender now. can't beat that!

then we went to H&M and i picked up a couple of t-shirts and a really cute black wrap dress....it has 3/4 gathered and trimmed sleeves with an empire waist. i really love it. now i just need to get my waist trimmed down a bit and then i won't look like a column! LOL! we got the girls some new clothes for school (to get lara out of her highwaters) and while picking out sweaters, mia spied this orange/blue/tan/red/white knit poncho....at first i was like 'are you sure, mia?' but then you should have seen the look on her face. she calls it her 'peacock' sweater. and when she 'flies' she's a hummingbird. i never thought she'd want a knit poncho, but the girl insists on wearing it everywhere! she looks adorable in it and is absolutely in love with it. i found a purple and pink one in the same store and lara said she wanted to try it on...but i honestly didn't think she'd like it. lara has totally different taste than mia does. mia is a bit more eclectic where lara is a bit more rigid. so i put the poncho on her and she immediately asked where the 'armholes' were. i told her that ponchos don't have armholes and i could literally see her face shut down. she looked at me for a few seconds and then yanked it off of her. 'i don't like those' she said. sigh.....sometimes i really have to wonder about her. she has to have everything 'just so'. she's a bit obsessive about the things she does and it hinders her trying anything new....exact opposite of mia. but funnily enough...lara is very similar to how i am now. i have no idea how i was as a little girl...but now i am pretty stuck in my ways. i like to have things 'just so'. but if this has rubbed off on lara..then why not mia? i dunno. guess it'll all unfold itself in time.

so, yesterday we painted our living room the grey-blue color i picked out last week. i have to say we are IN LOVE with it. it just looks wonderful. we have khaki sofas and chocolate brown pillows..and that blue just pulls it all together. i can't believe we've lived with white walls for as long as we have...our home in georgia has a different color on every wall...terra cotta, purple, lime green, flesh, grey, khaki, cornflower blue....we had it all. so i think that was one of the most depressing things about coming here and living in an apartment...we couldn't really make it 'ours'. we live on such a quarterly basis that it is hard to plan anything. we never know how long we'll be here. hopefully by the end of this month we will know whether or not we are staying for another year and can plan accordingly...we'll look for a new place (something bigger) and really settle in and get comfortable. we have too large a family to live in a temporary state. and i am totally anal about having 'a place for everything and everything in its place'. i can't stand to live in chaos...

in design news....i have added and lost some CT members....andrea victoria will no longer be on my team and i will be stepping down from hers as well. it is really hard to be on another designer's CT...there just aren't enough hours in the day. and i have added 2 wonderful ladies to my own team. mary-ann buchanan and becky pogatchnik. becky is an old scrap friend of mine who is venturing into digi and she is wonderful. love her! and mary-ann...well, this sweet thing applied to my CT call and i have totally regretted not asking her. we had been keeping in touch with one another and i was really enjoying her company and her work. so i asked her to join the CT ad she graciously accepted. love that!!

and i think i have found my new scrap 'crush'. kristina contes. she is CRAZY talented!! and i just watched my copy of SCRAPPED: IT'S A MOVIE and she' freakin in there!!! i couldn't believe it! i just love reading her blog and seeing her work! kristina, you rock!

ok, wow...i've rambled enough this afternoon. ha! i need to get started on lunch for the girls and i need to work on my halloween kit. can't wait til it's done! i keep getting wiffs of 'happy soap' from my hands...and i just love it. i love the way that stuff smells!!

alrighty, ciao all!!

raw

things are conflicting lately.

my need to be myself and my need to guard myself.

my need to be kind and sweet and my need to relax and let loose and be free. be the kind of me that my closest friends and family know.

my closest friends know how i really am. colin knows the real me. i am blunt and crude and opinionated and real. i am not the sugar-coated jan i am online. why is that? why do i feel the need for people to see only the good in me? is it because i am scared they won't like what they find? is it because online relationships are like chats with friends with eavesdroppers at the cracked windows? is it because i am scared shitless that i will offend someone? i have no idea.

all i know is that i am feeling uncomfortable in my own skin lately and i think it stems from a need to release my inner jan. to let her out and WITHOUT a leash.

online jan:
sweet
straight-laced
cautious
kinda funny

real jan:
dirty joke tellin
beer and cocktail drinkin
potty mouth
FREAKING HILARIOUS in a SO NOT PC kinda way
blunt
tell it like it is
history-lovin
anal
compulsive
freak

why? i have no idea. but it needs to change. i need to feel like myself in every aspect of my life. and people can take me or leave me. it's cool. i really don't think i mind anymore. this is me. real. raw.

uncontrollable sneezing

Man, I wish these sneezes would stop! It's driving me bonkers because I'm sitting here trying to work and my nose feels like it's up to something and then I sneeze every couple of minutes. Fun stuff, I tell ya!!

What I'm working on, though, is a teeny bit of digi heaven (in my opinion). What I'm working on right now is probably my most favorite kit so far! I think anyone who knows me knows that I try to do things my way. I design things I want to see on the market....that's just how I do this digi scrap schtuff. So...let's say I were in the market for a new Halloween kit. What would I want to buy? Something a bit spooky, perhaps. And it would definitely need to go with my photos. Last time I checked, my girls have never worn orange....Oh! I would love something for those grown-up pics I have...maybe something a little more mature? Oh where oh where could I find a Halloween kit like this?

How about this? Would this do?

Man, I think it would! That might be just the kit I was looking for!!! Oh I wish whoever made this would hurry up and finish it already! I can't wait to see the rest! ;)

fingers crossed

Man, I really can't stand my internet. It's always turning off and on. And of course on the days when I don't need it, it's fine. And then on those excruciating days (like the day a CT member notifies me of missing alphas in a kit that is supposed to be released that day) then I go absolutely bonkers! And sometimes it connects just long enough for me to sign into a site and then I get my hopes up and BAM! it's gone again. And I'm so tired of being lied to by Deutsche Telekom!! They really do suck, ya know? I
know phone companies in general are crappy, but I will forewarn anyone just in case you end up in Germany. Seek some other means of internet connection! Trust me on this one! Not only are they NOT fixing our internet and not only have we waited 2 WEEKS for our new modem but on top of that, we are now getting billed TWICE!! Talk about a freakin headache! This wouldn't be so bad if oh...let's say..EVERYTHING I do wasn't connected to the world wide web!! GRR!!! Ok, enough of my ranting...sorry. I just had to get it out. This is why I can't stay connected to anyone and this is why I
have been so late in responding to people lately! Sorry everyone!

And I'm almost finished with my newest kit. I'm really excited about releasing it...I kinda want to be ahead of the game on this one. I just have a feeling there will LOTS of these kinds of kits released in the next month or so and I want to be first. Well, I always want to be first....that's why I was in panic mode when it came to releasing "Comic Junkie". I just knew that someone was bound to beat me to the punch if I dilly dallyed.  And the crazy thing is that I have already seen another one released. It's cool,
though. I'm just glad I'm already done with mine! We went shopping this week to get some new stuff for the girls for preschool. The kids wear houseshoes while indoors to lessent he amount of dirt dragged in, and of course Lara goes through houseshoes like I go through magazines. That girl seriously needs something sturdy to keep upwith her! So we got her a new pair and got Mia a pair as well. They also
got new lunchboxes and nifty water bottles. The school in under renovation right now and they have no kitchen....so I have to pack enough snacks for them to last the morning. The updates should be finished in a couple of weeks, though, so the girls willbe back to their normal routine. I love how the school teaches them to be independent. They fetch the snack carts from the kitchen and they open and pour out the drinks and make the chocolate milk themselves...it's really sweet. I am a TEENY bit sad about Mia going to school, I have to admit. At first I thought I wouldn't be, but it turns out I am...just a tad. She has changed so much this past year! She is reallyasserting her own little personality and she is developing her own character. She used to be such a pushover and very compliant and willing. Now she's very much on her own two feet and you can't make that child do anything she doesn't want to! Of course, this is how Lara is as well, but Lara showed her individuality and self-suffiency MUCH earlier on...oh...at about 2! Ha!

And on that note..I seriously have to step back from my life and marvel at it sometimes. This is so NOT where I thought I'd be...When I joined the Army, I thought I had it all figured out. I was going to travel the world and after my enlistment was up, I was going to work for the CIA. I was going to be a career woman and I had no interest in marrying. I wanted to adopt one child who needed a home and then live out my life in bliss. Boy, was I wrong!!

Not nly am I married to an amazing man, but I have THREE kids! Never thought that would happen! And I am thoroughly content to work from home and wear jeans everyday. Life is funny, isn't it? I sure do think so!

Alright, enough of my blabbing! I need to finish up my kit and get the preview posted and then I need to tackle some chores! Thanks for listening! hahaha. Ciao!

**if you are reading this, that means my wonky internet decided to give me some love...let's see how long it lasts, shall we? **

bombshell

Feels like it's been forever since I updated this thing..but with good reason. We've been swamped. Our new furniture was delivered last night so we were putting all that together...then getting rid of the old stuff/ re-organizing...blah blah blah...it's so nice to have things in their proper places, but our house is always a 'work in progress'. And not just small projects- I'm talkin' boxes, papers, drawer contents on the bed kinda chaos...hopefully it will be over soon and then we can just enjoy our house. When it's in disarray, it mentally wears me down. So I go full force trying to get stuff finished and then I crash. C'est la vie...

In the midst of all this chaos, though, I managed to finish my new kit. I just ADORE it! I have been wanting to do something fun and decadent and flirty. Yay! So without further ado, I present Bombshell.

Ah, the good 'ol days. When girly was in and everyone dressed for dinner. I can only imagine these things since some days I'm lucky if I get out of my pj's..but anyhoo... ;) I'm about to hand this over to my CT and let them work their magic. Man, my girls rock!! And Colin even likes it. He thought it was pretty cool that I could combine zebra stripes, gaudy rhinestones, lace and baroque design and make it look good. He's so supportive! :D So, this'll hit the boutique next Thursday. Can't wait!

And I put up a new song...I needed something diva-liscious for this new kit. And I just love Christina Aguliera. She does her own thing and I love that. Plus I just adore this song...it's like Aretha meets Michael Jackson meets Count Basie Orchestra. Fun stuff!

Let's see...what else is going on...Oh, Colin is at a BOYS ONLY party today. They're all drinking beer and playing XBOX. He said the other guys had to get their 'kitchen passes' from their wives and I didn't even know what he was talking about until he explained. I'm just glad that I'm not a bully and he doesn't see me that way. He knows that I am happy for him to hang out and socialize. It's natural and I want him to get to hang with his friends, too. How in the world can some couples be dominated by one person? I don't get it because I know neither Colin nor I would stand for it. I know I'd come out 'gloves on and ready to rumble'! The only part I DO insist on is that I get some time for myself as well...ya know...a weekend day sans enfants is just fabulous! So, Laura and I are going out to dinner again tomorrow night. I'm really excited!! I hope we can make this a regular thing.

Not too much else going on....oh! But I did manage to finish some new papers...working on another kit already. These just came together so quickly and I am really geeked about finishing up the rest of the kit. Can you guess what kind it will be? ;)

Alrighty I should get going...I need to fold some laundry (GASP! REALLY!??!?!) and then I can start on dinner...oh the fun just doesn't stop! ;)
Ciao!

thank you

Man, you all are awesome! Thank you so much for every kind, supportive, and go-get'em thing you said yesterday! But I do need to clarify one detail. In my attempt to be vague..I was a bit TOO vague. Nothing has happened to me personally. No one has hurt me. But, if you count being pained because people you care about are being hurt...then, yes...I was hurt. I am just so tired of seeing people being mistreated and I couldn't keep quiet about it any longer. Even though I was vague, I needed to get it out. So, thank you for everything. And the only way we can stop the mean streak is to be good to each other. Let's all strive to make our community an uplifting one! Thank you!!

I had a photoshoot with Mandy and her sweet little baby yesterday..I don't know that you'd call it a photoshoot, though. I just walked around her house looking for the best lit spot and then plopped down a couple of backdrops. And even though everything I do is an experiment, I really do strive to do my best. I really wanted her to be happy with the photos. I have a couple of faves...but this one is my most fave:

It helps a ton when the mom is absolutely beautiful and the bébé is so precious! And he was so good! And he was so alert and looking right at me! So cool! I was so honored to do this for her. And now I get to work on the baby announcements, so that gets me all excited, too!

De-zine is going on sale today and I am pretty excited! I really hope everyone likes the new format!! Here's another preview in case you missed the last one...

It's jam-packed full of awesome goodness! Definitely check it out! The designer kit alone is worth the $, but the tutorial, articles, and interviews can't be beat for such a low price!! Run and get it!! DE-ZINE

And we have some really cool stuff coming to The DigiChick soon! I am stepping down as CT lead and as a Creative team member, so we're going to do something fun to find a new member and I think we are going to have a logo contest, too, for De-Zine! Time to spruce things up and put on a fresh face! I can't wait. Should be tons of fun!

And I finished a couple of layouts yesterday with the new photos..

The first layout uses my Baby Bliss kit and Laura's awesome stamp...and the bottom layout uses Laura and Robin's new double up called "All a-flutter". It's so adorable and the colors were perfect for this page. The bracket stamp is Laura's, too. Her stamps are PERFECT..totally realistic...a digi essential if you ask me! I just love the way these turned out. So much fun!
Ok, I need to get going...have a ton of laundry to fold (so, what's new?)
Ciao!

kindness

Kindness has been on my mind a lot lately. This industry that I adore has been so good to me. Scrappers are such wonderful people and I am so grateful for the friends I have made. But this world isn't perfect and I have come across some truly cruel and vindictive women. I am by no means perfect and I have made many mistakes in my life, but the one thing I haven't done is this: I have never treated people in this industry as disposable. And I never will. I will not use people for my own personal gain and then toss them aside. I cannot and will not. My heart just doesn't work that way. I hope we can all work together to get rid of this mean streak that has stained our community. I hope that someday we will be able to have friends, partners, and peers in this industry whose ultimate goal isn't using someone.

I also have a new song (Thanks, Dad!) and I want to address it before any future negative comments come up. I try in my own life and in the lives of my children to instill a sense of gratefulness and kindness. I believe that this comes from educating ourselves before speaking and having true empathy for others. I want to encourage everyone who happens to stop by here to be kind to one another. Be kind to those you don't know. Be kind to those you take for granted. You never know what kind of personal anguish people are going through and one kind word from a stranger or loved one can change everything. And most of all, please be kind to veterans and service members. They get enough grief and stress when they are 'in-country'. I have seen with my own eyes how horrible people can be to soldiers. An entire parking lot here was full of cars with smashed out windshields. Every car had US plates. They have signed their lives away for us. It doesn't matter if we agree with it or not. Please be kind.

Ok, I'm stepping down from my soapbox now. I'm sorry if I've offended anyone. It wasn't my intention. This is just something I needed to say.

monday shmonday

Oh, it's such an icky, cold morning. Really humid and overcast and drizzly. It's the kind of day that makes you just wanna crawl back in bed. I actually went to bed early last night. Early for me is 10:30. But I am really proud of myself...instead of staying up late, I listened to my body and did what I was told for a change. I was exhausted and I needed sleep. I didn't move the entire night. Not that you wanna know about my sleeping habits...but normally I am a toss and turn kinda gal. Not last night. So despite the weather I am actually feeling really good!

Big list of things to tackle today. Lots of emails to send out....need to work on my new kit...a TON of photos to blog. And this evening I'm heading over to Mandy's house to take some photos of little Sam. I am really excited! I think they are going to turn out really awesome! I love playing with lighting and angles...and with a newborn it seems like EVERY photo turns into a masterpiece. So, yeah, I'm really excited!

First up~ Mia's new do! I swear this child has totally changed since I cut her hair! And I also have to add that I LOVE cutting hair! I would do it all the time if I could! She is SO DARN CUTE!!! And she's been hugging me constantly (out of the blue) and thanking me for cutting her hair. Go figure. :)

And, as always, you can click on the photos to see them even clearer!

Ok, next up...photos from Wunderland. Wow this place is awful. But the girls love it and could care less...so we go! But this time we decided to capture some of the sheer loveliness that exudes from this place. Sheer beauty, I tell ya.

And I took some photos of Norah last night...just playing around a bit. She's on the kitchen table with our kitchen curtains behind her....I adjusted the lighting, so it's a bit brighter than the raw photo. I really like the way these turned out, too!

And last but not least, I have some really cute pics of Riley, Laura's oldest daughter. Due to an unfortunate gum accident she needed a trim. And I have to say that it turned out awesome! She is freakin ADORABLE with short hair and I hope it stays this way for a while! It totally compliments her face and personality!

So, that's it for today. Now I need to go do other, more mundane things than playing around with photos! Ciao!

done and uploaded!

Yay!! I finished De-zine up last night and I am so excited!! All it needs now is the links and then it'll be ready to go on sale! Laura and I worked almost nonstop for 4 days. I wsa on the puter for almost 12 hours yesterday...Talk about intense! But I really love the outcome...it's fun and fresh and tailored. I love it! Here's a preview:

I really love the way this turned out!! I know I'm just tooting my own horn here, but I really don't care. As much work and effort and time and heart as I put into it...well, yeah...I can gush! Ha! I'll update with a link when it goes on sale!

I still need to take a pic of Mia...her hair is absolutely adorable and she is liike a whole new kid. She has been so mopey and grumpy and upset the past few weeks...all that has changed. She is now energetic, happy, and back to her old sweet self. Go figure! I'm so glad we decided to cut her hair. It's crazy, but it seems like as soon as I cut it off, our little sweetheart came back. Weird, I know, but I think it's true...

Today we are taking the kiddos to Wunderland....sicne we got season passes, we might as well use them. And since we wasted a whole Saturday while I was glued to the puter, I think we owe them one. So, it's kinda crappy weather today, but we'll make do.

I also have to finish up my new kit...I need to get it to the girls at Scrapforums so they can work with it. I also need to get them my other kits...I'm really excited about their newsletter!

So, ciao for now! Hopefully I'll have some good photos and a new kit next time I update!

lock of hair

Ok, like my days are filled enough these days?!?!
Backstory:
Ever since the girls saw a kids' shampoo commercial (thank you, Penaten) they have been talking about their hair. Lara insists on having long, flowing, Rapunzelesque locks like the adorable girl on the TV. Not only does it have to hit her tush, she wants it to be 'shiny' as well. Sigh...my little princess to the end. Mia's response: "I don't want long hair. I like short hair. I want short hair just like Mommy, and Daddy, and Baby Norah." So, I tell this little tidbit of information to Colin. He says she doesn't know what she wants- she's just a kid. So, I didn't cut her hair and she's been talking about it everytime the subject of 'hair' is discussed.
Fast forward to today:
I was talking on the phone this morning to Colin at work and Mia came in the living room with her kid scissors from her craft box. She's looking mischeivious, so I tell her to put them back and stay out of the cabinet. I hang up the phone and proceed to the bathroom to take a tinkle. What do I see in the potty? (Yes, we refer to it as a potty) Well, I happen to see a HUGE lock of medium brown hair! So of course I yelled for Mia to come to me because I was scared she was still cutting it off. She comes into the bathroom and I don't even have to ask her. I can see the MUCH shortened chunk of hair in the front of her face. I told her that cutting her hair by herself was VERY BAD. The child INSTANTLY releases this flood of tears and holds her face in her hands and starts crying. You know what the child screamed at me?

IMAGE REMOVED BECAUSE OF STRANGE GOOGLE SEARCHES

Ah, the joys of motherhood. Note to self: Children have minds and when those minds are made up, they will endeavour to fulfill wishes alone if you disregard them. I gotta remember that. So, she will be getting a haircut tonight and I will update with the new do. Just look at that bottom lip...little stinker.
Ciao! :)